Signal to Noise
Sometimes when I talk, I can hear Sarah’s voice coming through that rough baritone, and she’s so soft spoken and sweet that I just want to hear more of her.
Just Me
You want to know one of my failings? I’m eager to please, and so I have to fight myself to tell someone what I really think because I’d rather make them feel happy and comfortable. I need to be loved, and when you’re a trans, pan, communist, that need can be at odds with reality. So I try to tread as lightly as I can, don’t want to make anyone feel left out, don’t want anyone to feel like they…
Strays
The birds,The bees,The mountains, the Moon,The deep, cold seas.
Cassandra
When people purposely misunderstand me, misconstrue what I say, take my words and twist them into something I didn’t say and don’t believe, I will literally double over in pain. I can go from calm and level headed to very angry and frustrated, and it’s not intentional, it’s my fight or flight response kicking in, because I am absolutely, 100%, without question, unequivocably terrified of being misunderstood and labeled something I’m not, and that I will then be judged on…
Abiding Eos
I have an idea about what I want to do next.I’d like a forum for leftists. I mean a place for socialists of all stripes: Democratic Socialism, Marxism, Anarchism, et. al., to come and talk without interference from moderators. Certainly, there are a few spaces where socialists can talk, but they’re almost always governed by people who have a vested interest in maintaining a corporate atmosphere and always willing to pull the rug out from under people as soon as…
Lullabies and Good-nights
Rock-a-bye baby,In the tree top.When the wind blows,The cradle will rock.Rock-a-bye baby,In the tree top,when the wind blows. Thank you, mom, for singing me to sleep every night that I was scared when I was a child.I will always hear your soft voice, and feel you rubbing the bridge of my nose with your finger. I felt so safe, because I knew you were there to watch over me. I miss you so much.
To my mother, who has reached the stars before me.
On October 22nd, 2021 at 5:01 PM, my mother died. She was 65 years old. She had suffered, for many years, from diabetes, high blood pressure, kidney disease, body aches and pains from having the inability to walk. She had suffered strokes, seizures, and two heart attacks. She’d had sarcoidosis of the central nervous system, a nephrectomy, and dozens of other minor surgeries. She would have hospital stays anywhere from a week to 4 months at a time. She was…
A Modern Day Sci-Fi Thriller
Me: [ transports to the past]My 1st grade teacher: “Who are you?” Me: “I’m Amaris, bitch!” [ punches teacher in face ] “Now who’s brain dead?!” [ shows thumbs up to shocked 7 year old self] “They’re wrong, and you’re smart, sweetie. Oh, and you’re a girl!” [ runs away from the custodian who has showed up with a broom ]
Just A Maelstrom Missive
It is a very difficult day today for me, emotionally. Nothing outside so much has changed, it’s inside. Once more the identity of who I am screams at me, and points out that I am a fat, hairy, chronically ill person who is already halfway (or greater) through life with no signs of any part of their dreams coming true, and sometimes I’ll say those dreams are dead anyway, why try to reanimate them? While there are other moments where…
Ground. bound.
We used to swing among the trees, our ancestors, and yet now in our far more advanced society, with the power of silicon and radiation at our command, we cannot sympathize with their plight, even though it is also our plight. How far we’ve fallen from the trees to ignore the sky, and still not touch earth.