When people purposely misunderstand me, misconstrue what I say, take my words and twist them into something I didn’t say and don’t believe, I will literally double over in pain. I can go from calm and level headed to very angry and frustrated, and it’s not intentional, it’s my fight or flight response kicking in,…
Category: Mental Health
Abiding Eos
I have an idea about what I want to do next.I’d like a forum for leftists. I mean a place for socialists of all stripes: Democratic Socialism, Marxism, Anarchism, et. al., to come and talk without interference from moderators. Certainly, there are a few spaces where socialists can talk, but they’re almost always governed by…
Lullabies and Good-nights
Rock-a-bye baby,In the tree top.When the wind blows,The cradle will rock.Rock-a-bye baby,In the tree top,when the wind blows. Thank you, mom, for singing me to sleep every night that I was scared when I was a child.I will always hear your soft voice, and feel you rubbing the bridge of my nose with your finger….
To my mother, who has reached the stars before me.
On October 22nd, 2021 at 5:01 PM, my mother died. She was 65 years old. She had suffered, for many years, from diabetes, high blood pressure, kidney disease, body aches and pains from having the inability to walk. She had suffered strokes, seizures, and two heart attacks. She’d had sarcoidosis of the central nervous system,…
A Closer Look at Dave Chappelle’s “Closer”
So I watched the Dave Chappelle “Closer” special, and if I had to choose a reaction for how it went, I’d have to say ultimately I was frustrated. There are points Dave makes in the show that are spot on, I mean SPOT ON about civil rights struggles we’re still having in the US. When…
A Modern Day Sci-Fi Thriller
Me: [ transports to the past]My 1st grade teacher: “Who are you?” Me: “I’m Amaris, bitch!” [ punches teacher in face ] “Now who’s brain dead?!” [ shows thumbs up to shocked 7 year old self] “They’re wrong, and you’re smart, sweetie. Oh, and you’re a girl!” [ runs away from the custodian who has…
Just A Maelstrom Missive
It is a very difficult day today for me, emotionally. Nothing outside so much has changed, it’s inside. Once more the identity of who I am screams at me, and points out that I am a fat, hairy, chronically ill person who is already halfway (or greater) through life with no signs of any part…
Turning to Face Them
I was just thinking back on something I talked about the other night, about the concept of change, and how we all change. I just want to mention that not all change happens slowly, sometimes it’s very fast. There are times where a new idea completes a puzzle that someone has been putting together their…
Nightmares & Omens
The dream began as thus this past Sunday: I was at a restaurant, placing an order and just chatting with friends, when our surroundings began to grow darker. Before a few moments had passed, it was night time. I looked around and aside from the glow of the restaurant, all of the other buildings around…
Am I Communicating Effectively?
I ask this question of myself a lot. There are many times, mostly on message boards, where I will state something in as clear and plain a language as I can, and I inadvertently make someone upset. I ask them what I did, and they get even more upset. I clarify my statement, and it…