Yesterday I was engaging in my caregiver duties, and in the process I had to put on a pair of medical type gloves. So I get these white gloves on, and I realize I was still wearing my watch on my left wrist, and the bead bracelet on my right wrist.

I began to remove them. I first removed the watch, folding it in my left hand, and as I began to remove the bracelet, I had this quick mind’s eye view of gloved hands, not my own, removing my personal effects from me, as one would do when a person has died. It only lasted a few moments, but I could even feel it.

I realized that this is likely how they would remove them from me after I had died. Tokens which had once meant something to the intelligence that had once been housed in that fragile flesh. Someone who giggled at puppies, cried over hungry children, and thought about his own sense of self, his own existence in all things, looking at the world in his own way, all of that gone. The gloved hands do their work, removing those articles and letting the cold, limp arms fall back to the table, arms that ached to hold people, to comfort them, now utterly useless.

After a few more seconds of that, I shook my head clear and put the watch and bracelet in my pocket and got back to what I needed to do.

I’ve been thinking about it off and on since then. It’s nothing new that I’m constantly aware of dying and death, and that it will happen to me sooner rather than later, but that was the first time I experienced the thought of my own death from the direct perspective of someone else, someone who would have to deal with my remains once I was gone.

It was a genuinely unique feeling. For all I know, it was a brief glimpse at things to come. Whether in the immediate or far future, I cannot say with 100% certainty, but it did feel likely, even imminent. I’m not sure what to think about that.

I just wanted to share this feeling. Hopefully some of it carries over to you and you can feel how I did for just a brief moment. It really was fascinating.