This is a stream of consciousness post. It might ramble a bit, but please listen to it.
You are fine exactly as you are. Your physical attributes are only one aspect of who you are as a person. I understand that we all have insecurities, but I promise you that there are people who find you attractive, who want to connect with you, and who are looking for people like you.
I know I’ve asked the question myself. See, I am overweight, I’m balding, I have skin imperfections. I have bags under my eyes, a genetic trait combined with over a decade of little sleep. My hands are rough from years of manual labor.
My body will never win a prize for how lean and thin it is because it’s lacking two of those requirements. I’m a vegetarian, I eat right, I exercise when I can, but I don’t lose much weight. I’m approaching (though in my case I believe I am already hitting) middle age, and unfortunately I have a butt that will quit.
So I have asked the question, “are there people out there who like those of us who are overweight? People who like those of us with pale skin? Balding heads? Poor eyesight? What if we’re short? What if we’re what fashion magazines call “frumpy” or “stout”?
It’s an understandable question, but if you really think about it, you realize that it’s a bit silly, too. The answer is, of course, YES. There are people out there who find us attractive, whether we’re short and fat, tall and willowy, or somewhere in between.
We’ve got button noses and bulbous ones, thick eyebrows, and maybe one ear is slightly higher than the other one. We might have stubby fingers, or long, prehensile toes. Our figures might hourglass, rolling pin, or they might snowglobe. There are some of us who have barrel chests and washboard abs, while many of us have a washboard chest and barrel abs.
We’re human beings, my dear sweet friends. We’re imperfect. Our flesh isn’t flawless. Our bodies aren’t porn film ready, which is an unfortunate but real standard used by many in society because it’s what we’ve come to believe is the ideal representation of sex and sexuality.
Still, it’s in our imperfections that the beauty of who we are lives. There’s so much more to us, but those physical traits that magazines, TV shows, and the internet tell us are less than desirable, something we have to fix? That’s people who want to exploit our insecurity for their own profit. They want us to doubt ourselves, our own humanity, to make it seem like we’re substandard, and WE ARE NOT.
My lovely fellow humans, our physical qualities, our mental and emotional attributes, they create who we are, and we are beautiful because of it. This neurotypical, hetero-normative baloney we get fed by those who profit from our misery and loneliness is exactly that: baloney. We don’t need it, it’s not healthy for us, and a steady diet of it will make us feel sick.
You are so much more than what such people think you should be, and the worst part is that they flood our senses so thoroughly, that we miss the other perfectly wonderful human beings who are calling out to us, looking for us, trying to connect with us. The people who are attracted to our humanity, who know that we are not a host of problems and maladies to be addressed one As Seen On TV ad at a time, but are whole, complete miracles.
You deserve love. It’s not something you have to earn, it’s not a thing you get when you’ve made enough payments. You already deserve it, and there are people out there who want to give their love to you because they see in you that which is already evident: you’re beautiful.
All of my love,
Amaris