If I told someone I loved them, but spent my time yelling at them in anger, insulting them for spite, and then deny them their voice when speaking their needs, what are they supposed to think? Am I loving them? Surely not. I am loving my image reflecting off of them, and nothing more.
Love people for who they are, not who you think they should be. Love is a fertile seed, a warm Sun, a quiet Moon. It is not the wind that scours, or the soil that erodes.
Give them love and watch them grow, rather than shape them into what you think they should be. Love is transformative in that way.
You are loved.