I’m going to try something this morning. I want to share with you how I process things in my mind. It won’t be a perfect representation, of course, but I will try to make it as accurate as possible.
So let me lay out the color key for you, since my brain doesn’t work on a single thread. The bold words are what is being spoken. Everything else occurs in my head. Oh, and don’t let the long list fool you, each of these processes occurs in the blink of an eye. From the outside, you would never notice any kind of delayed response.
Let’s begin:
There’s a gravel in my shoe.
“STRANGER”: Hello, how are you?
Greeting recognized.
Who is this person?
I don’t know this person.
Who is this person?
A greeting was given.
Return the greeting.
What do they want?
♫♪ Darling if you want me to be closer to you, get closer to me ♫♪
I don’t recognize their face.
Greet this person.
Use manners.
Be kind.
I’m fine.
Why do I use manners?
I love Seals and Crofts.
Smile.
Greet warmly.
Who is this person?
Everyone deserves respect.
Fine is adequate for introductions.
I wonder if this person knows they are loved?
Red hair.
I believe Seals and Crofts once performed with Derek & The Dominoes.
Greet this person and find out who they are.
It is likely they want only a pat response.
♫♪ Layla. You got me on my knees, Layla. ♫♪
Introduce yourself.
Remember, be kind.
ME: Hello, I’m fine. Forgive me, but do I know you?
Seals and Crofts did not play with Derek and the Dominoes.
My butt itches, but I can’t scratch because I’m shaking hands.
♪♫ Without love, where would we be now? ♫♪
(( harmonization breakdown of the previous lyric ))
Awaiting response.
I would guess she’s around 30 years of age.
Who is this person?
(( analyze chord strumming technique for the intro to “Long Train Running.” ))
I’m hungry.
Curium is an element listed under Actinides on the Periodic Table.
This person has lovely eyes.
“Ain’t no party like a West Coast party cause a West Coast party don’t stop.”
(( stacking of the squares on the periodic table into a 3D image of a continent ))
“Coolio to put the flow back in your ear.”
Roughly 200 lbs.
((analyzing brass chorus of “Spinning Wheel” by Blood, Sweat, & Tears))
She’s responding.
“STRANGER”: Oh my, no. I just saw your shirt…
She likes my shirt?
I’m nervous.
(( sexual situations imagined with this person ))
♫♪ Ride a painted pony let the spinning wheel spin ♫♪
Rejection.
35?
Acceptance.
Be kind.
“STRANGER”: and I wanted to tell you I think it’s funny.
She’s sweet.
I’m flattered.
This shirt was $4.
(( strong sexual images ))
Don’t fuck this up.
♫♪ Hey there lonely girl… ♫♪
Who is this person?
Oh, well, thank you.
I should say something witty.
♫♪ Lonely girl… ♪♫
Be polite.
(( breaks down every letter of the alphabet and reconstructs them backwards ))
It’s just an old shirt.
I like her.
Are my pants clean?
I left a bottle of Pepsi in the freezer. Shit.
I’m glad.
(( remembers phone number ))
Ask her name.
(( inverts phone number and multiplies by 9 ))
Is she okay?
♫♪ Let me make your lonely heart like new ♪♫
I like her shirt, too.
ME: Oh, well, thank you! It’s just an old shirt, but I’m glad you like it. If you don’t mind my asking, what’s your name?”
There’s a gravel in my shoe.
((prepares list of most common names))
In fourteen hundred, ninety two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
(( compiles alternative list of known French names ))
Columbus was a dick.
I wonder what would happen if gravity ceased right now?
Mongo! Santa Maria!
(( watches clip from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan ))
“STRANGER”: Alex. What’s yours?
(( sexual images but with the name Alex included ))
Alex is considered a masculine name in most cultures.
I have.
It is.
Yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow.
She has a right to herself.
32.
(( visualizes the name Alex and flips the letters upside down ))
♫♪ They smile in your face, all the time they want to take your place ♪♫
Alexis, Alexandria, Alex P. Keaton, Alex Trebek, I’ll take potpourri for $200.
It is nice.
John.
What would her name look like in Sanskrit?
(( visualization of sexual imagery ))
I like her, she seems sweet.
Respect.
(( spells out “tea” visually, allows words to float in air around Alex ))
“I’ve got a dollar, I’ve got a dollar, I’ve got a dollar and a pickle, hey hey.”
To meet you.
(( analyzes the intro to “Long Train Running” ))
I wonder if Derek and the Dominoes ever played with the Moody Blues?
I think I have to pee.
ME: I’m John. It’s very nice to meet you, Alex.
She is beautiful.
“The big yellow one is the Sun.”
(( strong sexual imagery ))
I definitely have to pee.
40.
♪♫ Running on empty… ♪♫
(( visualizes long distance running clip from Forrest Gump ))
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Ta-Da! I hope that gave you some insight into how my thought process works. It’s very difficult to lay out how the process actually works, but for all intents and purposes, this is as good as I can make it without creating some kind of flow chart, which just wouldn’t encompass everything either. That doesn’t even count the visual patterns I see, or the absolute fuck TON of music that runs concurrently in my head, both created by others, and my own works, or works I’ve modified in various ways.
I just wanted to share the kind of things that pass through my head, and what you see above is 100% accurate. I did not add anything for comedic effect, or to make myself appear any way other than what is the true end result for a situation as shown above.
I wish there was a way to truly share it, because I want to know how other people think. I want to see inside their heads so badly. I want to connect on some level other than spoken words or basic body language.
That said, if nothing else comes of this post today, then all I can do is hope your day is just a bit more surreal as a result of having read it.
I love you.