I used to think I was normal. Nerdy, sure, but normal. The more I observe the world around me, however, the more I realize that I am not normal. I don’t mean that in the cute, cheeky, Facebook “abnormal” way that people love to talk about. What I mean is that my brain is clearly not fashioned, nor does it function, in the traditionally accepted sense for the culture in which I live. It’s not satisfied with pat answers. It…
Firstly, Blessed Yule! Secondly, tonight is the Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year. May the Goddess Selene bless you this night. Wherever you travel, may she protect you, and guide you.
Why can’t every person be worthy of love? Why do people have to segregate, to divide up those they feel are worthy from those they feel should be left to die alone? Yes, there are heinous people who have existed, who do exist, and who will exist, but if we only tried to offer love to those people we like, what good does love do other than reinforce a caste system where the one resource that is infinite is hoarded…
The United States is an amazingly complex nation. With a population of 326,400,000, and an annual nominal Gross Domestic Product of $19.3 trillion (that’s $19,300,000,000,000) we are a populous, and apparently prosperous nation as well. (*0) We have high standards of medical care, a highly advanced volunteer military, our music and movies are exported around the world, spreading the highlights of our culture for all to see and emulate. We are the epitome of the glory and glitz of a…
I’m sitting here at my desk, and typing. It’s quiet in the house, mom and dad are asleep, the living room television is on low volume, and I can hear a train passing by, its horn blaring and cutting through the crisp, clear air on this 3 AM winter morning. Not long ago, I wrote the first line of text in my Shadow journal. It is the blessing for the rest of the book, because I want the book, and…
My whole life, I have struggled with being loved. People say they love me, but there is a part of me which doubts them. I think to myself that if they knew all of my thoughts and feelings, they’d hate me. I imagine myself as a pariah, someone to loathe. As I say, all I’ve ever wanted to do is love people and be loved by people. I want to bring joy, kindness, and compassion to people. I want to…
I’ve put my ponies away. I’m going to package them all up, the figurines, the poster, the plushies, the DVDs, everything except those which have been gifted to me by my friends, and I’m going to donate them to our local Goodwill. I love them, but they have to go. There’s no room for them in my life anymore, and for some reason they attach to me a terrible stigma I do not wish to be attached to me. Perhaps…
My heart has been hurting today. All I want to do is help people, to breathe love and life into others, to protect them, to comfort them, to bring them joy and happiness. Not just kids, but adults, too. Everyone. I want to bring love, life, protection, happiness, and joy to everyone. Why does everything have to hurt so much? My chest has been hurting all day. I’ve been having these dreams where I die, and people are happy. In…
From my entry “No Mob Rule,” posted two days ago: “I cannot stress how careful we must be here, because we live in a nation of professional outrage. The far reaching effects of social media can kill a career, a life, a reputation, with just a single shout that spreads across the entire platform. Suicides will happen as human beings face throngs of angry commenters, who will not keep it strictly on social media.” Well, we’ve seen our first example…
In a particularly dark moment of my anxiety today, I started thinking about how shallow everything appears to be. I’m not talking about gossip magazines, though those have always been a fountain of surface level critique, but rather how everything from media to politics are a mile wide and a centimeter deep. Our culture, and by that I mean western culture, has adopted this prima facie approach to everything. I worry, because it’s easy to distract people who engage in…