I’ve been a vegetarian for a while now, and I like it. I like the idea of not having to eat animals in order to survive. This morning, my blood sugar dived, and I had to grab a can of bean and bacon to halt the plummet, because we didn’t really have much in the house to eat. We can’t really go grocery shopping like most folks, because we live in a small apartment, with almost no cabinet space (seriously, we have two cabinets in which to store food), and a refrigerator that kills fresh foods fairly quickly with ice (the fridge is 30 years old, small, and the landlord is waiting until it dies before replacing it).
I had a choice between bean and bacon, and a chicken and rice frozen dinner. I tried to take the road of least impact, as bacon “bits” would be far less of an issue than large pieces of chicken.
Why do I always have to go for the things that make my life even harder? I want to protect the lives of animals, but at the same time I put myself in a dangerous position every time, because I’m already dealing with a disease that does not care about my ethical choices, or my financial situation. It only wishes to ravage.
I also live in an area where getting cheap, fresh fruits and vegetables is impractical. I don’t get to go to farmers markets, it’s not an option. At all. Our local grocery store has fruits and veggies, but they’re costly compared to more plentiful, filling options, especially when you’re trying to feed 3 people with different diets. That gets expensive, and makes an already short dollar just that much smaller.
So I have decided I’m modifying my diet, not just for my health, but also to remove some of the stress off of my head when I simply want to have a meal without dealing with the inability to simply *eat* something.
I’m switching to pescatarianism. I figure fish are assholes, so why not? Nah, seriously, I feel that I can eat fish, while still having a 95% fruit and vegetable diet. That may sound like it doesn’t help much, but wow, you have no idea how much easier it is to eat something like fish around here. Every restaurant has a fish meal or fish sandwich option, our grocery store has fish platters that open up my diet without compromising all of my principles, and honestly, as much as I would love to save the entire animal kingdom, and heal the environment just by virtue of my diet, I can’t. Not now.
I know my thoughts here might make some of my vegan friends uncomfortable, or disappointed, but I can’t help that my body needs these things. I am fighting with everything in me to keep from going back to eating regular meat, because I do want to help animals, and while I hold nothing negative against anyone who does eat meat, it’s just something I don’t want to do for myself, so I feel bad that I can’t maintain that, but if compromising in favor of animals, while also making sure I don’t die because of my various diseases, then so be it, I can adjust. I can cope.
I just read a blog article from a woman who was vegan, but her body was rejecting it, so after years of being vegan (way beyond my capabilities, btw), she switched to eating meat again, where her meat consumption was about 90/10 veggies to meat, which is something I consider a reasonable move, all things considered.
She was lambasted by so many people, it made me sad for her, and I ended up posting in support, talking about my switching to pescatarianism. I’m sure I’ll see venom dipped posts before long, but I cannot abide bullying in any form.
All of that aside, this is nothing more than a drop in the ocean, and in the grand scheme of things, none of this really matters. If I ate nothing but meat every day, it wouldn’t matter for most, and I’m okay with that. It’s something small, something personal, where I don’t want animals to be used and abused. I’ve long taken the Temple Grandin approach to such things, who said “nature is cruel, but we don’t have to be.” If we eat meat, then the least we can do is be more humane, we can be more environmentally and ethically conscious. I don’t see this as something beyond our abilities.
Now the bean and bacon is hurting my stomach. Urgh. Diabetes sucks.